Pride to Acceptance
by Biscuit15
Summary: Squalo never could work out why he went through girlfriend after girlfriend so quickly - or maybe he did know why he was never satisfied... After all, as sick as it was, sometimes he did find himself wondering about Dino. Dino x Squalo, DS.
1. Chapter 1

When Dino received a call from his best friend early that morning, he honestly wasn't surprised to hear what Squalo had to say – in fact, he had almost expected it.

"I broke up with my girlfriend last night. She's moving out soon." The younger hadn't sounded emotional at all; in fact, he sounded almost relieved. "Can you come get Bel? I need to go out of town for Xanxus for a few days."

Dino pinched the bridge of his nose before he looked at the living room doorway and saw a shadow approaching. He sighed before he spoke into the phone. "Yeah, I'll be there soon. Squalo, why are you going through girlfriends so quickly now? You're worrying me; it isn't healthy to cycle through them like this."

There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before Squalo muttered, "I don't feel… _satisfied_ with any of the others."

"Why not?" For the ten years they had known each other for, Dino had always been Squalo's support; he was used to adopting a gentle demeanour as he listened to the younger's problems and offered advice, and part of him didn't want to give that role up any time soon, even if he would never admit that out loud. "There's got to be a problem somewhere, Squalo; it's not supposed to go like this."

"What are you trying to say, Bucking Horse?! That it's _my_ fault?!" Something broke in the background before Squalo started yelling again. "You think I _like_ having to bring a new girl home every fuckin' month? I can't even enjoy _sex_ anymore!"

Dino allowed the other to yell and vent his frustrations; he was so used to it, he didn't even mind. Though he had an inkling of what the problem was, he knew not to say it to Squalo; it would only piss the other off even more, and Dino didn't want to deal with what would ensue from _that_. Instead, he waited until his friend had finished his rant before he said softly, "Perhaps you just haven't met the right one yet."

There was grumbling from Squalo's line before he growled, "Just hurry up and get here; I've already got a headache from that brat and I want to get the fuck out of here."

"I'll be there shortly, Squalo; I promise." With that said, Dino ended the phone call and looked at the tiny brunet who had crept to his side during. He offered a smile before he said, "Squalo's having more problems with his love life. He's gone through another girlfriend, apparently."

The brunet, Dino's adoptive brother named Tsuna, gave a frown. "Does he realise he upsets Bel when he does this?"

"He wouldn't; Bel wouldn't tell him something like that, and Squalo is too stubborn to admit he's in the wrong." Dino lifted his arm so he could wrap it around his brother's shoulders and pull the younger close. "He's going out on business, so I'm looking after Bel again. Make sure you tidy your room up for him."

Tsuna nodded again; having grown up with the other teenager, he never minded when Squalo needed Dino to look after him. "I'm going out with Yamamoto and Gokudera-kun later, but we'll all be back for dinner."

"Okay, Tsuna." Dino couldn't help but hug the younger male tight; since they had both been adopted by the same family, they were all the other really had, and the blond didn't know what he would have done without Tsuna there with him.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm really worried about you, Squalo..." Dino scrunched his nose up in distaste as the smoke from his friend's cigarette went up his nostrils. He didn't back down when a glare was sent his way; he had anticipated as much, and he wasn't going to cower under the other's temper.

"Fuck off already! I'm fuckin' fine!" Squalo took another puff of his cigarette before he continued. "Why the fuck would you be worried about me anyway?"

"Because you're always out here smoking ten packs a day wondering what went wrong with your life." Dino's tone was sympathetic at this, and he was erring on the side of caution; if he wasn't careful with what he said, he could potentially find himself leaving the younger's home with a black eye. "Don't you think it's time to take a step back and re-evaluate everything? You quit your job, keep dumping every girlfriend you get, and I don't think I'd be wrong in saying you're not far off being diagnosed with depression."

"Voi! I am _not_ fucking depressed!"

"Squalo… I really think if you stopped trying to be brave and just admit your life isn't very stable right now, it would do wonders for you…"

Squalo snorted. "You think I don't know my life is fucked up? I was well aware of that when Xanxus said I'd never step foot back in Varia again if I left and yet I still quit anyway. Now I'm broke and Bel's the one paying for it; I can't even replace his school books for him."

"Squalo…"

"Fuck off, Bucking Horse. Go bother your boyfriend already."

"We broke up this morning; that's why I'm here, Squalo."

"Good." Squalo didn't know why it felt so satisfying to hear such words; for reasons he had never been able to understand, he had always hated the fact that Dino had been in a long-term relationship with someone else and wanted it to fail more than anything. To know that he had finally gotten his wish… "About time."

Dino winced. "I've never said that about any of your relationships…"

Without even thinking, Squalo snapped out, "Maybe because you've never been jealous of mine before!"

"…"

"…"

"…What…?" The blond cocked his head to the side.

Squalo threw his arms up in the air in frustration. "I don't fuckin' know! Get off my case!"

Dino dropped the subject; he could see how irritable the younger was, and he knew not to push it much further. Instead, he looked through the sliding glass door and into the dining room when he saw movement from the corner of his eye. He smiled at the sight of Squalo's girlfriend – no, she was his ex now he had to remind himself – sitting Bel down at the table and placing a plate of food in front of the boy. He turned back to Squalo. "She's lovely; why didn't it work out?"

Squalo shrugged. He tossed away the butt of the cigarette he had finished before he fumbled around in his pocket to retrieve the carton and get a third one. "She'll be gone soon."

"Bel will be sad when she leaves."

"He's _my_ kid, not _hers_!" Squalo bristled, unable to stand the idea of Bel liking someone more than him; _he_ had been the one to take the kid off the streets when no one else had wanted him!

"He deserves a mother, Squalo; can't you let him have that? He wants one."

"…"

Dino sighed. "Hey, let's go out into town and get our minds off things. What do you think?"

"Nope."

"Squalo… At least come and have a coffee with me."

Squalo shrugged again. There was no point trying to refuse the other because he knew Dino would only keep at him; he might as well agree and just get it over with. "Whatever… If it shuts you up."

Dino never took offence when his friend spoke to him like that; he knew it was how the other naturally was, and despite the cold tones he would use at times, rarely meant things the way they came out as it was hard for him to convey himself in a more civilised manner. "Okay. Your car or mine?"

"Mine; I fucking hate getting in a car with you. You're going to kill me one day."

Dino laughed. "Sorry, Squalo."

"Hn…" With that said, Squalo dropped his cigarette to the deck beneath him so he could stomp on it and leave.

 _ **~~XX~~**_

Squalo was absentminded as his car idled in heavy traffic; he forgot how busy it could get in town, and now he was kicking himself for agreeing to come with his friend when he could doing nothing in the comfort of his home instead of sitting on roads so congested, he wasn't sure he was going to move at all in the next ten minutes.

"What are you thinking about?" Dino could see that there was something bothering the younger, and he wished he could help; he hated knowing there were problems in Squalo's life the other wouldn't tell anyone about.

Squalo shrugged. He gave the steering wheel a fond pat before he said, "I'm broke; they're going to take my Mercedes because I can't make the payments. What am I supposed to do without my car?"

"How much is left on your repayments?" The blond knew Squalo had had the car for several years now, so surely he was almost finished paying it off…

"I don't know…" The long-haired man sighed. "This fuckin' sucks…"

"Why don't you talk to Xanxus and see if he'll give you your job back?"

"I don't fuckin' _want_ it back! He was an ass to me! He called me a fag!"

Dino could barely believe what he was hearing; he never had known why the younger had quit such a huge position the way he had, but he had assumed it was because Xanxus wasn't the most pleasant of bosses and perhaps Squalo had gotten sick of feeling abused – but seriously, Squalo hadn't quit from being yelled at and having wine bottles thrown at him daily, but rather because Xanxus had said he was gay…? How was… Dino supposed to respond to something like that…? "…Does it really bother you _that much_ to have someone think you're into men…?"

"Yes! I'm _not_ a fag, Dino! It's wrong and disgusting! I was raised better than that, and you _know_ it!"

Dino flinched. By 'raised better', he meant having the daylights beaten out of him after his father had found out Squalo was okay with having two friends who didn't follow the accepted social constructs. He remembered all too clearly how homophobic the other's parents had been, and it had been so bad, it had greatly damaged Squalo's friendship with Lussuria, and almost destroyed everything between him and Dino. Squalo never used to think it was 'wrong' and 'disgusting' when he was younger, but unfortunately, his upbringing had held fast…

"You know I only sleep with girls! I'd _only_ ever be with a girl!"

"Squalo, isn't Bel bisexual? If you're so against it, why have I never known you to try and stop him? You told me when he had his first experiment and you were okay with it. So why is it so bad when it comes to yourself?"

"Because I'm _not_ a fucking _fag,_ even if _Bel_ is! And _no,_ I was _not_ okay with it! He knows not to bring them home unless it's a girl! The fuck do you want me to do? Beat the shit out of my kid?!"

Dino frowned. He knew for a fact that despite Squalo's anger issues and aggression towards other people, he had never once laid a finger on his kid – in fact, Bel seemed to be the only person Squalo could actually be gentle with. "Don't hit him, Squalo; he's had enough of that in his life…"

"You think I don't know that?!" Squalo wanted to hit the other; how could Dino be so _stupid?!_ "Why do you think I didn't make it clear to him how much I disapprove of him wanting a boyfriend?! You want me to make him hate me?!"

"Of course not, Squalo. Just take it easy with him; it'll be stressful enough for him as it is. He probably thinks he's walking on eggshells with you now."

All of a sudden, Squalo's tone softened. "You speakin' from experience?"

Dino sighed as he nodded. "Before they died, my parents didn't approve of me, either... They weren't hateful of me, but... things were never quite the same between us... I felt like I couldn't even tell them anything about my relationship because whenever I'd mention my boyfriend, they just... Well, I could tell they didn't want to hear about it..."

"At least they didn't beat the shit out of you and kick you out of the house like Lussuria's parents..."

"Yeah, he copped it pretty bad."

"...Hey..." Squalo glanced at the older male briefly before he turned his attention back to the road. "...What would you rather; being a fag and fucking things up between your parents, or having your parents back and pretending you're straight...?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I can't wrap my fucking head around why people willingly piss their parents off for some easy fucks that probably won't last."

"I don't know about you, Squalo, but I actually want to be with someone I love – I just wish I could have had my parents back as well..."

Squalo, who had never had a good relationship with his parents in the first place, shook his head. "You're an idiot; you know you can't have both so why did you pick the most painful option?"

Dino gave a weak smile. "I guess I'm just a fool, Squalo."

"Why'd you break up anyway?"

"He was jealous."

The smaller male raised his eyebrow. He turned to look at Dino in disbelief; he had never known the other's partner to be the jealous type, or that there were issues serious enough to damage the relationship – but truth be told; he didn't care because he was _glad_ Dino was single again. "The fuck did _he_ have to be jealous over?"

"A lot of things… Tsuna… You… Bel…"

"What the fuck? Tsuna I understand, and I sort of see me. But _Bel_? You been fucking my kid when I'm not around, Bucking Horse?"

"That's how he was, Squalo…" The blond sighed. "He didn't like Tsuna being around all the time, and he didn't like us spending time together or even me talking about you, and he _hated_ me looking after Bel for you. He even told me to fire Romario once because Romario was always around."

"Thank fuck he's gone. You deserve better, Bucking Horse."

A tiny laugh escaped Dino's lips. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me – perhaps the _only_ nice thing you've ever said."

"Don't get used to it." With that said, the car fell silent as Squalo became lost in his thoughts. He pondered over the things Dino had told him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fathom why the other did what he did; if it were Squalo, he'd much rather pretend he wasn't a fag just so he could at least have his parents' approval if nothing else…

With a heavy sigh, Squalo changed his train of thought; it was heading to places he certainly wasn't comfortable with at all.


End file.
